Stuffing

I face serious issues in my life on a daily basis.  It's part of being human.  Today it was this:
To be or not to be...
Beyoncakira (beyonce + shakira) or a Minimalist

Because I am not capable of being Beyoncakira, I just went with the flow and did the whole 'minimalistic' thing.  I gathered all my nuts for the winter.  AKA, I stuffed all my shit in boxes.  It's part of the whole 21 day journey thing.   So, that's great.

More importantly, I realized that I'm always left with poop skids on my plate.  Allow me to translate. Or don't.  I'm afraid a lot - I'm afraid of emotional and physical intimacy, which is ridiculous.  I'm afraid of going for something I love and being rejected.  I'm afraid of sticking my head out of the window of a car and having my friend slowly role the window up because their body accidentally let in a demon spirit, and so I am left pinched between glass and some fiberglass frame with my eyes bulging.  Because I have so much anxiety surrounding my fear, I always avoid making decisions, and when I do make decisions I avoid committing to them.  This leads to me and the poop skids. Or poop's kids, whichever way you want it, they're both not ideal.  I don't commit because I am afraid and as a result eventually all of my options fall away, until there is one skiddy diddy left.  This happens in my love life.  This happened to my college selecting process.  Well, I'm saying NO MORE.
Here's the plan;
I'm tired of going to school where I go to school. So I'm transferring!.. and dropping out next semester.
I'm going to work on my portfolio and auditions for the potential transfer candidate schools, and after auditions I will leave the U.S for France, and the rest of Europe if I feel like it.  I'm tired of the U.S. too.  I will stay there for a while, and come back when I need/want to.  I am committing to this plan, because I'm gonna do it.  That's good enough for life. That's good enough for me.

What I did today to accomplish this nasty?
-I started packing all my crap, and re-listed my apartment for sale on craigslist. I also just participated in a general pumping up, of sorts.